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“I can’t believe you let your kids eat toaster pastries! They’re all sugar and trans fats!” a friend told me recently. She was over for coffee and couldn’t help peering into my open pantry and seeing the box of toaster pastries.
I could feel my hackles starting to rise. What would motivate someone to make a remark like that?! It would never occur to me to critique what other people have in their kitchen cupboards. Still, I told myself my friend probably meant well. After all, she studied nutrition in college and that was “her thing.” In her own way, she was probably trying to show concern. So I simply smiled, shrugged and replied, “You’re right. They’re not exactly nutritious. But once in a while I buy them for a special treat.”
This response is what I call the “Value-the-Other-Person’s-Perspective” approach. You let the other person know you can see some truth to what she just said. Sure, it would have been easy to take offense at my friend’s words, but why? In the broad scheme of things, does it really matter that my friend doesn’t agree with all of my grocery purchases?